Goodbye Max, We love you.

This will be one of the most difficult post to write. Who knows, this might help me root through some of the deep, sad emotions that I am going through. As many of you know, last June the vet called with the results of a biopsy on Max's gums. To both Andi and my dismay, the prognosis was what we feared the most, aggressive carcinoma. Because of the location of where the cancer was growing, the chances of it spreading to other lymphnodes was high. No viable options for surgery, nor is there medicine that could reverse it. The vet gave us a short amount of time, and could make no guarantees about quality of life or length. The only option was that we would continue simply with our own promise to Max for two things, that he would be taken care of, and that there would be no pain. For the most part, Max seemed to be alright. He talked, a lot. He always talked a lot. He played with Theo, his partner in life. He dined on a combination of wet food and canned tuna, his favorite. In the morning, he would come down with us usually on the shoulder of Andi, to watch the morning news and prepared for first nap. He greeted us at the door when we arrived home in the evening, usually to let us know that his food dish is ready to be filled. Every night, he would walk up the stairs with us, climb on the bed and would wait for me to pull my arm out from under the covers and he lays on it, purring. I pet him until I fall asleep. The second half of the night he comes over to Andi's side and wakes her up to put her arm out so he can be the "little spoon" with her for the remainder of the evening. I've dreaded this time when these seemingly normal actions would become less and less normal, when the time came when he doesn't climb up those stairs with us, or even worse, when he's not sitting patiently at the front door waiting for us to arrive home.

Max, I have only known you a short amount of time, 4 of your 14 years. But, you made an everlasting impression on me. You never really acted like a cat, your personality wouldn't allow it. Anytime you found yourself reverting back to your animal nature, you shook it off and reminded yourself how much better you were than to act, "cat-like." But there was one animal characteristic you couldn't shake, your unconditional love for both Andi and myself. I think that's why I love animals so much. It's that dedication and imprinting that occurs that creates this bond that never breaks. Max, our bond is unwavering and unbreakable. Sleep now, Max. You're safe. And home. And you are loved dearly. I'm going to miss you and never forget you. We both love you, kitty.

My God! Why Doesn’t He Require Reading?!

I recall introducing myself to parents at Back to School Night. One parent asked the question, “How do you plan on making class entertaining?” Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it) the bell rang just as she was finishing her inquiry. I had the time to reflect on this question and at first I was little disgusted. My first response was, “If you want your kid entertained, take them to Vegas and catch a show.” The question belittled my choice in careers. I’m not here to make people laugh or cry. I don’t plan on dressing up in period costumes, or wearing a flower that sprays water, or a magician’s top hat. It is not my job to entertain your child for an hour-and-a-half, 3 days a week. I personally find the study of history and discussing the major events that helped shape the nation incredibly entertaining. However, I cannot promise that your child will find the same interest or entertainment as I have. It would be remiss for me to tell her that by the end of my tenure as student teacher in her class that her child would come home screaming how much she enjoyed learning history and how she was going to make it her career choice. Again, that was my first reaction.
After I went home, I sat down and had a glass of good scotch and I had some time to ponder the question and the possible retorts I could have made. It made me think about my own experiences in the classroom as a student. I’ve had bad teachers and I’ve had phenomenal teachers. Some were as dry as white toast, and some brought such a colorful way of expressing the ideas of the lecture that I was entranced and an active participant throughout my time there. I decided that I would wait and see how the students reacted to my taking over class, and then decide on what the most appropriate answer would be.
Sure enough, I got to the front of my class, lecture notes in my sweaty hand, trying to remind myself that I’ve lectured countless times in the past, and I knew the information I wanted to impart on the students. I started the lecture and the first thing I realized was the 35 pairs of eyes all looked the same, rather wide-eyed and questioning what was really happening. Questions about what to write down and how to put together notes abounded. Again, I was at a loss. “What’s the important part of the lecture?” Simple answer, “Everything I say.” It is never that simple, however. I started to question the students on prior knowledge, and what they knew about the topic we were discussing, and the lack of knowledge astounded me. I asked them about their textbook and what they worked on when they got home. Simply put, they don’t use the textbook. After class I asked my teacher about this revelation and he answered, “I basically look at using the textbook as punishment.” The problem I saw with this was that I thought about the classes I found most entertaining and what helped in that assessment was me coming to class prepared and eager. Reading is not a punishment! Regardless of the book, reading shouldn’t be look upon as penance for wrong doing.
Disappointed, I retired for the day and pondered what I could do to help the students. My lectures have continued, the information is flowing and some minds have been deriving sound conclusions from the knowledge gleaned. I can speak only for social sciences but reading is such an imperative portion of understanding history. Without reading the theories and counter theories, how does one further their understanding of historical events?
When asked about possible projects or mode of giving information to the students I brought up the idea of assigning a few short essays. The idea wasn’t nixed entirely, though the comment that what probably will get turned in will be a culmination of “cut-and-paste” jobs from various websites. I was at a loss after that. I look at my own development as a historian and academic and the two main foundation points in that development was reading and writing. After hearing this, I did not have a clue on developing a curriculum that would benefit all the students in my class. I guess the only possible solution is to grab another scotch, and figure out how to hide a rabbit in my hat! YO, BARTENDER!!!!!!

The Update...

This posting has been dubbed PG-13 by me, and you all know how good of a judge I am on what's appropriate!!!!


It's been awhile since I wrote an update; this might be a bit jaggedly typed solely because I'll probably get bored with writing it and quit for a day. Just bein' honest here. I can recall when all this started, it was such a long time ago. These updates started as an e-mail to my good friend Matt, usually detailing how I can’t believe the girl to guy ratio at school, and then a brief description of what I’m taking. Now here I am on the cusp of finishing the credential program and yet I still feel like I want to stay in the sheltered "safety" of school. Maybe being on the other side of the classroom will offer up some degree of "safety" or "security," but I won't hold my breath (at least not with the present state of schools here in California)! But I digress.......

So I bid Sonoma State a fond farewell a few weeks ago. I finished up my Masters, officially (like, turn-in-the-paperwork, officially) last December when I passed my last comprehensive exam (first was on US Social History, the second on the Modern Russian history…which is ironic in itself but that’s another posting), but since they don't offer a December Ceremony, I waited until May to walk. I protested walking in the May Commencement mainly because I've sat through too many of them in the past. But, as my parents reminded me, none were mine. I agreed to do it, and I'll admit there was a sense of accomplishment that followed with the procession in. After a brisk 3-hour ceremony it was done and I was ready to move on. But even with that want, I was still a bit melancholy, knowing that I wouldn't be taking another class from some of my favorite professors again. I'll look back fondly at the education I received from there, as do I look back fondly on the experiences I received that arguably shaped me into the person I am today. A special shout out to Andi, Ollie, Mom and Dad for braving the beautiful weather Sonoma County offered up to us. Also a special shout out to my friends who kept me company by texting and commenting consistently online, as for most of the presentation I was on my phone. I sat in a black robe with a velvet hood, surrounded by other black gowns in 80+ degree weather with no wind, listening to someone banter on about war profiteering and giving all you can to the ACLU. Or the inflated “President’s Message” that states our education is on-going, and how you should continue studying…(well of course we should. It pays your salary if we do!!!!) Or the self-inflated nonsense that spewed from the student body President about the hours she spent working “hard” in the local coffee shop, and going to class, and not the logged hours of keg stands and waking up in some strange house with no pan.....never mind. Anyway graduation was fun. I sat with my good friend, Jay, and made snarky comments at everyone else’s expense, until the 50-year old getting her masters in “I-don’t-care-what” gave us a look. So that was Sonoma State....

So now onto a very positive note. For anyone who has heard my tirade on the credential program, you may skip this if you'd like. I am half-way through the single-subject credential program at NDNU now and I have enjoyed all but just one aspect of it, truly. That aspect is not being in the university lectures. I was given an excellent opportunity to work as a student teacher at Central Middle School in San Carlos for Kay Barg (I'm being specific for a reason) and it was an outstanding on-the-job experience. In stark contrast, I found the lectures in the evenings mostly a waste of time. That's not to suggest that I didn't learn anything from them. It is to suggest that the program needs to be reprioritized. The problem that I found in general was the difference between theory and practice. Lecture classes dealt with the ideals. But the student teaching put you in the trenches and working/thinking on your feet on how to deal with every student in your class. Invariably you will have a mélange of students with different abilities and therefore you must adjust your expectations accordingly. My suggestion, scrap the program and rebuild it in an apprentice-master format (just like construction). Learn from different teachers, over 3 semesters. And pull the O.J.T. from that experience. Honestly, I'd rather see my tuition money going to the source from where I learned and not the school that I am enrolled in.
I had a blast with my two classes at Central. 8th grade US History. Kay was an excellent teacher, though a bit of a micromanager, and her rhetoric is a tad antiquated. She felt the need to discuss Russia in the Cold War era "Red Menace" style, which is fine. I whimsically enjoyed reading the Western Interpretations of Russian policy/history prior to the fall of Communism. But there's a wealth of knowledge that has been opened up since that, which counters much of what's written. Obviously, Kay is NOT a Communist; perhaps she had a family member that was interrogated during the McCarthy hearings? We simply don't know.
My two classes were wonderful though. They were decidedly advanced; I was astounded with their abilities, especially in their writing. They were a blast to work with, to talk about history, to motivate, and to joke around with. There were enough students that understood my dry wit and snarky comments to make it ok to poke fun at them from time to time. I was off for a week and when I came back for their graduation, all of my students came rushing up to me to give hugs and handshakes. It felt good. I was able to tell them a few more lessons that I wasn’t able to convey in class, about….life, and High School. It would be great to see a few of them when I get my next placement but I would rather not work with freshmen. Simply put, I don’t think the experience will be that different when comparing 8th and freshmen. I’d make an arbitrary comment on maturity levels and development of arguments…but you all know me…
My favorite was by far, the graduation. I was off for awhile, and when I arrived to graduation I was instantly greeted by my students. They gave hugs and exchanged stories of their fun times doing 8th grade activities. I was proud of them, sincerely. I was able to give them their last lesson in the moments before promotion. I told them to work hard, it makes everything easy. I told the girls that they would have guys wrapped around their little fingers for the next few years and to take advantage of it. I told the guys that they would be wrapped around the girl’s little fingers for awhile, but it’s ok, because they want you too! Lastly a student named Evan, who plays water polo, I told, “you will be surrounded by tail.” His eyes lit up. I told him to find me in a couple of years to tell me, “You’re right.” But it’s cool. I wish them all the best. They were excellent students and a great experience. I gave fist bumps in the receiving line and most of my girl students gave me hugs. I will sincerely miss teaching them, but I also look forward to teaching the next group of students. I hope they’re as eager to learn as I am to teach them.
Lastly, I can’t end this without saying something about running. As you all know, I’ve been running more and more for the last few years. I finally found something that gives me direction and focus like nothing else I have ever done. Last October through December, I ran 4 Half-Marathons in 8 weeks. It was a blast. I averaged around 45 miles a week, running 5 days a week, and working out 4 days of each week. My training has continued. I had a horrendous race last weekend (6/12) in San Francisco. It was 80 at the start of the race and ended up being around 90 by midday. My race report would consist of a good time through the 5k, ok through 10k, and everything after that was a disaster. I’m past it, we all have bad races. I promise though, that it will NEVER happen again. Upcoming races include a handful in other states, for my goal of finishing a race in every state still holds. October through February looks to be quite busy. Family in Detroit, I hope to rock with you in October. Oregon in September (Steph, I’ll finally be able to “see your place”). San Antonio in November, and possibly Vegas again in December. And a few more in January. I’ll be back for the Half Marathon in San Francisco for Superbowl Sunday 2011. Hopefully I will be done with a 1/5 of the states (that’s 10, people…) by the end of winter.
So that’s it. Please continue to think of me, I promise you all I am thinking of you. Wish me luck as I continue and find myself moving forward. I’m staying positive and widening my opportunities as much as possible. I promise I will continue to post here, so feel free to check back from time to time. Love you all, and “Give ‘em Hell!”

So it begins

I suppose that every blog has to start someplace. I mean, how else would these things progress? "Every journey begins with the single step." Yet, as I reread this zen-like paraphrasing, I can't help but wonder...what journey? Where are you going with this? Why blog? What happens after your first post? What are you going to talk about? I wish I had answers, and the best thing I can say is, you'll know where this is going just as soon as I know. Hell of an introduction, I know. More to follow.....